The Story of My Broken Heart

The Story of My Broken Heart
By Misha

Disclaimer- Not mine.

Author’s Notes- I actually started this before Chapter 12 but that just gave me more inspiration. I was given the suggestion of an unhappy ending for Lilith and Adam, if he turned out to be the villain (us Vega fans are realists, we knew this was coming). This is a new narrative style for me, but it just fit the idea. This also combines all of the “I love you” prompts that I got for them.

Pairing- Adam/Lilith (Adam Vega/MC)

Rating- PG-13

Summary- Not every story was meant to end with happily ever after and this was one of them.

Words- 2413

Let me tell you a story.

It’s not a happy story, because not all stories are meant to be happy, some stories are always meant to be tragedies. The one I’m about to tell you is one of them.

It is the story of what happens when a regular girl falls in love with a monster.

I was that girl.

For a while, I inhabited a dark world that had previously only existed in my deepest desires and my worst nightmares. The kind of world where good and evil blended, where everyone had a dark side and happily ever after didn’t exist.

Yet, working as a vampire’s assistant was my only introduction to the darkness. Adrian was the one who brought me into the world, but he was not the one who pulled me in completely, not the one who made me want to lose myself in the darkness…

 

“Adam, I’d like you to meet my assistant, Lilith, she’s a big fan,” Adrian introduced with a smirk.

If he intended for me to be embarrassed, it didn’t work, or at least I refused to let it. Instead, I stuck out my hand and pasted on a big smile. “Senator Vega, I’m honored to meet you.”

“The pleasure is mine,” he assured me, taking my hand, the touch of his skin against mine sending a thrill of longing through me. How could he affect me with just one touch?

 

I think I fell for him the moment our eyes met.

I knew he was a bad idea right from the start. He hid it behind charm and civility, but the darkness was there to see if you looked hard enough. I wasn’t that innocent, I saw it. I understood it. But I wanted it anyway.

I wanted him.

And he wanted me. Maybe it was a game to him and I was a just a prize to be won, but he pursued me in a way that made it impossible for me to resist and so I didn’t, instead I submitted to my fate…

 

“Have you made a decision yet?” Adam asked, his arms wrapping around me from behind and pulling me against him. I was surprised that he’d followed me out to the balcony. Adam never missed anything and he’d obviously sensed the perfect opportunity to continue his pursuit. “About my offer?”

To be his mistress. To give up Adrian’s protection and accept his instead. Had I thought about it? I hadn’t been able to think about anything else.

“Yes,” I acknowledged, the word slipping breathlessly from between my lips.

“Yes, you’ve thought about it?” Adam pressed, “or yes, to my offer?”

“Yes to all of it,” I told him, tilting my head so I could look at him. He was so tall and handsome and the look on his face was warm and affectionate and it was easy to forget who he was. I could almost pretend that this was a love story.

His arms tightened around me as his lips met mine. His kiss was triumphant and possessive. He had gotten what he had wanted and all I could do was submit to him, to let him claim me…

 

And just like that, my entrance into the darkness got even darker. I’d gone from Adrian’s assistant, with him doing his best to shield me from the realities of his world, to being Adam’s mistress.

There were discussions about his public image, his political ambitions, a need to introduce a relationship slowly. But it was all for show because Adam had no intention of going slow. Once he had me, I was his.

And he didn’t just want my body, he wanted all of me. He set out to claim me, to own me in ways I hadn’t realized were even possible…

 

“You spoil me,” I chided, glancing around the restaurant, one of New York’s hottest. I’d mentioned in passing that I’d wanted to try it, so of course, Adam had made that possible.

“I promised you the world, remember?” Adam told me, his hand covering mine. “Dinner is the least I can do.”

I wondered if this dinner would end up in the papers. Probably. But Adam seemed less concerned about the public element of our relationship than his handlers did. He only seemed concerned with me.

“Why me?” I asked before I could stop myself from asking the questions I’d been asking myself for weeks.

“I don’t know,” Adam answered me, his mouth curving into an amused smile, “I’ve been asking myself that since I met you. After 300 years, what made you so special? Why were you the one who could touch the heart that I thought was no longer capable of feeling?”

My breath caught in my throat. His heart. Was he…? He couldn’t possibly…

“I thought myself above it all,” he continued, leaning in, his breath tickling my ear, “until you, Lilith. Until I realized I was in love with you.”

I swear my heart stopped. I bit my lip, overwhelmed by what I was hearing, but never for a moment doubting his sincerity. Because it was what I wanted so badly to hear.

“I love you,” I admitted, surprising myself with the words but realizing it was true. I had fallen in love with him, which seemed like a very dangerous thing, but if he loved me too, then maybe the fall wouldn’t be as bad as I anticipated?

Adam grinned triumphantly. “I love you,” he said again, this time louder, obviously not caring who heard. His handlers would love that, I thought as I noticed all the eyes on us, though with Adam looking at me like that, it was hard to care.

Besides, the fact that he was so careless, so public, had to mean as much as the words himself. It had to mean that this was real, that it could be forever.

 

I was so naive.

I had fallen in love with the monster and convinced myself that he loved me and I began to think I might get happily ever after. Not the kind you see in fairytales, but a happy ending nonetheless.

For a while, we were happy.
Adam even promised to find a solution for the Clanless, to try and work with Adrian and Kamilah and I believed that he wanted to be better, buying into all his promises.

 

“I lost a Clan member last night,” Adam told me casually as if he was talking about the weather.

“I’m sorry to hear that,” I told him sincerely. “Ferals?”

“No, actually, a dispute with one of the Baron’s men,” he said and this time I heard the irritation. “Which means I get to go discuss things with Baron.” He seemed more bothered by the inconvenience than by the loss of his clan member.

“I hope you’re not asking me to go with you,” I joked, though I knew he wouldn’t. Adam did his best to keep me from the vampire world, a far cry from my brief time in Adrian’s employ.

“No,” Adam said immediately, “I don’t want you anywhere near the Baron.”

I just nodded. I was part of the vampire world, but not. It wasn’t what I’d been expecting, but it was hard to argue with Adam’s need to keep me safe.

“Though,” Adam hesitated, his hand resting on my back, “I did want to talk to you. This loss means I have an open spot in my clan.”

Oh. Oh. Ohhhhh.

“I want you to take it,” Adam told me, “I want to turn you, Lilith. Do you want that? Do you want to be at my side forever?”

 

For a brief moment, I thought that was what happily ever after would look like: eternity with Adam. I ignored what Kamilah and Adrian had told me about the downsides of immortal life, Lily’s rough adjustment.

I told myself that it would different for me because I had Adam by my side. Whatever else I went through, whatever I’d lost, we’d be together and that would be enough, right? He wanted to give me eternity, what further proof did I need of his love?

Maybe it wasn’t something I’d really considered, but it seemed like the right choice. More than that, it seemed like the only choice…

 

“He’s working with the Baron.” The words were delivered in a tight voice and I could see it pained Adrian to deliver them.

I stared at him. “Excuse me?” I’d been caught off-guard by the surprise visit. I’d only see Adrian briefly since I left his employ and never without Adam there protectively hovering by my side.

“Vega, he and the Baron have a deal.” Adrian continued, “they are behind the Feral attacks, working to destabilize the council and divide the city.”

“Do you have proof?” I asked though I was sure he did. My heart clenched at his words, not wanting to believe them, but having a hard time denying them.

“I do,” Adrian confirmed. “Kamilah has called for a meeting, but the Council will likely be split and whatever happens, it probably means war.” Because he couldn’t count on Priya or Lester to act, I realized, not because he believed there was a chance that The Baron and Vega were innocent.

“The Baron took out one of Adam’s clan members,” I said hesitantly, “just last week. They met to discuss it.”

Adrian’s face twisted. “You mean, the Baron did Vega the favor of taking out one of his clan to free up a spot for you, convenient wasn’t it?”

When he put it like that, it was so obvious. It was all so obvious and yet… I still needed to believe that there was an explanation.

 

I might have chosen Adam over Adrian, but I trusted Adrian completely.

My heart was a traitorous thing, but it didn’t mean that I didn’t know and understand both their characters. I knew Adrian was telling the truth, at least as he believed it, and could only hope that there was a subtle nuance that he had missed, something that could explain what he’d told me.

Something other than the knowledge that I had fallen for the monster and had begun to convince myself that he was something other than what he was.

 

“Is it true?” I demanded as soon as Adam returned.

I knew he would have heard about Adrian’s visit, he has spies everywhere and I’d realized almost from the beginning that every move I made was reported.

“Lilith…” Adam began in a placating voice, attempting to wrap his arm around me but I dodged it. “Adrian has a very… naive way of seeing the world. It’s admirable but idealistic and impractical.”

That wasn’t a no. Which meant it was true.

“Did you ever intend to find another solution to the Clanless?” I demanded instead, my fits clenched tightly at my side.

“I intended for Kamilah and Adrian to realize there was no other solution,” he answered causing my heart to drop.

“I believed you,” I whispered, “I thought…” The whisper turned into a scream. “I loved you!” The scream broke into a sob. “I love you.”

“And I love you,” Adam responded, pulling me into his arms. This time I let him, though I felt numb. “That has hasn’t changed. I didn’t lie, Lilith, I was just… Creative with the truth, but it doesn’t change anything between us.”

 

But it did.

I had spent months living in denial, telling myself that I could have a happy ending with the monster, but I was still me. I still had to believe that there was good in the world, that I could be the good in the world.

I wasn’t the type of person who could just stand by and let innocents suffer, let atrocities be committed, even by the man I loved. The truth didn’t change my love for him, but it opened my eyes to the reality and smashed my naive dreams of happily ever after.

And when war came, I stood with Adrian.

I was there at the bitter end.

 

There were class and bodies everywhere. I had no idea what kind of cover they would use, Especially since the two who usually took care of such things would not be available.

The Baron was dead. I had taken Jax, Kamilah, and Lester to do it, but he was gone and with him most of his Clan.

“Lilith, you don’t have to watch,” Kamilah told me quietly, her hand on my arm as we watched Adam and Adrian battle it out.

“Yes, I do,” I told her quietly.

She just nodded, standing behind me, ready to shield me if harm came, but i knew it wouldn’t.

“Do you have anything to say?” Adrian asked Adam when it was finally over. There was no triumph for his victory.

Adam looked at me and I saw more emotion in that moment than I had in all the months we’d been together. “I really did love you, Lilith,” he told me quietly, “you…. You were extraordinary, something I never counted on but selfishly wanted, even though I knew no good could come of it.”

“I love you,” I told him softly, tears streaming my face, “I love you, I love you, I love you.” Those were the only words I could get out and I knew they were meaningless. It didn’t change anything that I loved him and he loved me. That that at least had been real.

I felt Kamilah’s arms wrap around me, shielding me, and then it was over.

 

And that was it. That was how my great and terrible love story ended, with the death of the man I will always love at the hand of my dear friend.

Adrian offered to debrief me, to make me forget it all, but once again I refused. Oh, I wanted a life away from New York, from the memories and monsters and I took the money he offered, but I couldn’t let myself forget.

Loving Adam Vega was the worst thing I’d ever done, but it was also the best. He was a monster, but he was so much more than that. He was darkness, but for a few months, he was my light. He brought me deep sorrow, but also intense joy.

I do not regret loving him. I should, but I don’t.

I also don’t regret how it ended, because that was how it had to be. After all, this wasn’t a fairytale, it never was.

• End