Summary: Allie gets Liam to open up after the Homecoming Ball. Set before the tour leaves Applewood.
The night before they leave Applewood, Allie slips out of her room and down the hallway to Liam’s. He looks only a little surprised to see her and lets her in immediately.
“Is everything alright?” he asks in concern, leading her to the bed.
She perches on the edge of it, Liam sitting next her.
“Yes,” she says at first, then, when she reminds herself of the whole reason she came here and sees Liam’s eyebrows furrow at her expression, Allie sighs and admits, “No.”
Liam’s dark eyes search hers.
“What’s wrong?” he asks.
Allie turns a little on the bed, facing him more. She struggles to find the right way to start, then decides maybe there isn’t a right way.
“You’ve been so…distant,” she finally says carefully. “Since the Homecoming ball and the assassins.”
She can see that stoic mask sliding back on to his face. That mask, that brave face, so reassuring to the public, simultaneously threatens to reduce her to tears and makes her want to yell at him to talk to her.
“I’m sorry, Allie, if I’ve seemed distant. I’ve just been under incredible stress,” Liam begins. “Worried about Cordonia, and reassuring the public, and gaining support. Worried about you,” he says earnestly, squeezing her hand.
“You’re not-It’s not just that,” she says, glancing down at their joined hands.
Her ring sparkles in the lamplight, and she flexes her fingers against his.
“Do you love me, Liam?”
His head snaps up, and he looks perplexed for a brief moment, and then, something she’s rarely seen, almost frustrated. It’s there one second and gone the next, and then that stoic expression is back on his face.
“Of course I love you,” Liam answers. “I’ve loved you since…” he trails off, shaking his head.
“I love you,” he repeats.
She doesn’t say anything, just glances down once more, and feels tears prick behind her eyes.
“Allie,” Liam says slowly.
He tucks his thumb under her chin until she looks up.
“Why would you wonder if I love you?” he asks.
It all comes pouring out then, the words flowing freely. She doesn’t think she could stop them if she tried. She doesn’t know if she really wants to stop them. Allie’s afraid if she doesn’t say this now, she never will, and this frustration and worry will build and build until she finally can’t take it anymore.
“You’re pulling away. You don’t talk to me. Sometimes it feels like you’re somewhere else. We were attacked and we barely talk about it, or at all, and-“ The tears are flowing in earnest now, dripping on to their still joined hands.
She expects him to reassure her, to say something soothing. Liam always seems to have the right words, but she doesn’t want the right words right now. She just wants him, wants him to be open and honest, wants the man she fell in love with who told her things he never told anyone else.
Instead, to her surprise, he says nothing right away, and cups her face in his hands. His eyes are wet, and that mask, that equally wonderful and infuriating mask, has slipped. Liam pulls her to him, his arms banding so tightly around her waist that it makes her gasp for breath at first. He burrows his face into her neck, his hands in her hair. They tumble back on the bed, lying on their sides, chest to chest, legs intertwined. She wraps her arms around his neck, hot tears streaking down her face, and holds on.
For long, quiet minutes, they say nothing. When Liam does speak, it’s a murmured, “I love you”, in her ear. It’s a plea. A vow. His emotions are heavy in his words.
Allie tilts her head back, and Liam caresses her cheek with his thumb, his fingers tangling in her hair.
“I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone,” he says in a near whisper. “I almost lost you once. I thought, that night of the Homecoming ball, that I was going to lose you again.”
He lets out a choked sound. “I love Cordonia, Allie. I want to be the king it needs. I want you by my side, as my wife and the queen this country deserves. But sometimes, when I think about almost losing you and everything that’s ahead of us…”
Liam trails off, then takes a deep breath. “Sometimes I think I’m asking too much of you. Sometimes I think that what you deserve most in this world is a normal life. Sometimes I think our plan won’t work, and this monarchy will fall apart, and there will be nothing I can do about it. Sometimes I think I don’t want to burden you with all of this.”
Allie presses soft fingers to his lips, then threads them into his hair. The tears still fall from her eyes, for her and now also for him, though they’ve started to slow.
“You can talk to me,” she says, her voice cracking a little. “I want you to talk to me. I want to be here for you, Liam. As the future queen, yes, but also as your future wife. Your friend. The woman who’s so desperately in love with you.”
Liam rests his forehead against hers, closing his eyes. “I know, Allie. I do know I can talk to you.”
He opens his eyes again, then presses his lips to hers, a soft whisper of a kiss. “I still worry sometimes that this will all become too much,” he confesses.
“This hasn’t been easy,” she admits honestly after a moment. “Sometimes I worry that our plan won’t work either. Sometimes I think there has to be a better way, that we’re not going about this right.”
The look on his face is crushing, and she links her fingers with his, their joined hands between them. She can feel his heart pounding where they press against his chest.
“Liam,” she says reassuringly. “I love you. I don’t want to leave. I’m not going to leave. Not Cordonia. Not you.”
His expression is one of utter relief, and he kisses her again softly.
“But I can’t do this if you won’t talk to me,” Allie continues. “You don’t have to tell me everything right away. But I want you-I need you-to talk to me. About anything. Whether you think it’s too much, or silly, or that it doesn’t matter. It matters,” she whispers.
Liam exhales, his thumb still tracing gently across her cheekbone.
“You are…incredible, Allie,” he finally says. “Sometimes I don’t think I des-“
“Stop,” she says immediately. “Don’t say that.”
He smiles a little at her protest, the corners of his mouth lifting up. “But I do sometimes think that.”
“Liam,” Allie says, half-warning, half-teasing when she sees his face relax. “You really sell yourself short sometimes, you know that? You’re a wonderful king, and a wonderful man. Don’t forget that.”
“I’ll try my best,” he says, starting out with a solemn look but smiling again by the end.
Allie smiles back, her heart a little less heavy than when she first walked into the room.
“Allie,” Liam says. “I want you to talk to me too. About anything, at any time. I’m always here. Okay?”
“Okay,” she murmurs. “But this goes both ways, you know. I worry I’ll burden you too.”
“You won’t,” he promises. “You’re never a burden.”
“Even if I’m just complaining that I really, really wish Justin would heal faster and come back?”
Liam laughs, that genuine laugh of his she loves so much. He leans in, pressing his lips to hers, before his face turns serious once more. “And I’ll talk to you, Allie. I will. I’m just still not quite used to having someone I can be so open with.”
“What about Drake?” Allie asks.
“I talk to Drake,” Liam agrees. “But his solution to fixing it usually results in a rather unpleasant hangover that I prefer avoiding.”
Allie laughs. “Well, my solution might sometimes involve wine.”
Liam chuckles quietly, then moves so he’s lying on his back, his arm around her waist shifting her to rest her head on his chest.
“I love you, Allie. More than I can possibly say sometimes. I need you to know that,” he says softly.
Allie lifts her head up. “I know,” she reassures him, then kisses him deeply, running her hand into his hair. “I love you, too.”
She whimpers quietly when he nips at her lower lip and tugs her over him.
“I love you,” Liam whispers again.
His eyes are dark, a look of utter desire and devotion on his face. “Let me show you.”
He slips his hands under the back of her pajama shirt, his touch igniting her skin.
“Mmm,” she murmurs in agreement, and Liam rolls her underneath him.
Allie knows they’ll probably have conversations like this again. Liam has been stoic and reserved his whole life, and as frustrating as it can be, it only makes sense that he has these reservations about opening up.
Still, their conversation tonight has helped ease her worries. And as he presses kisses across her neck and eases her shirt over her head, the way he makes love to her and his murmured “I love you” speak volumes.