Present day; Philadelphia, Pennsylvania:
Bastien stared down at Liza who had cried herself to sleep in his arms. He had never before seen Liza fall apart like he had in the hallway. He worried that she was more broken than he had imagined. He needed to let his own pain of their loss go and just focus on helping her. I wish I could make all your pain go away. He softly smoothed the teal hair from her face, he would do anything to keep the tears from her eyes.
Bastien was pulled from his thoughts by the ringing of his phone. He moved to silence the phone, not wanting to wake Liza. He saw the Trenton area code and hesitated before pressing answer. He looked down at Liza’s peaceful, sleeping form, torn between leaving her to sleep in peace and answering in the bed. He lifted the phone to his ear, his need to stay close to her winning out. “Hello?”
“You sick son of a bitch!”
“Who is this?” Bastien questioned, trying to keep his voice down as to not wake Liza.
“You failed you know! She survived, they both did.”
Survived? Emmaline! Both? Bastien’s mind raced, she survived, Constantine failed, then why didn’t they know she was alive? How had Constantine managed to conceal the fact that she survived? What did Liam mean by both? She was pregnant? Was it mine? His heart raced, he glanced at Liza’s sleeping form, if his suspicions were correct how would he ever break it to her, explain? “She survived? How? Where is she?”
Harsh laughter filled his ear. “Figures you wouldn’t even ask about your child, your daughter! She survived, she’s been at Royal Pines—”
So it was mine? Why wouldn’t she tell me? Bastien was stunned, he’d had a child all this time and hadn’t known. He felt his heart stop in his chest at the thought of explaining this to Liza. This is going to break her even more. He hated that his weaknesses years ago were now tearing apart the strong vibrant woman he loved. The love he felt for Liza was stronger than any love he’d felt for anyone else before her, he felt like he might not survive if his past actions were to cause him to lose her. He just hoped their live would be strong enough to get them through this.
Twenty years ago; Trenton, New Jersey- Emmaline/Bastien:
It started innocently enough, she felt alone in a world she didn’t belong in. She realized far too late that the man she fell for wasn’t who she thought he was, but some cruel tyrant willing to take things with force. The constant fights with her husband about her son’s training was physically and mentally draining, leaving her feeling hopeless and exhausted.
So many among her husband’s men were cruel and cold. He was one of the few who despite the job seemed to retain kindness and heart. She was as drawn to him like a moth to a flame. He was kind to her, and a source of normalcy for the children.
Bastien was playing with fire, what was he thinking flirting with her? She’s the bosses wife for god’s sake! He never should have returned the attention she gave him. There was no good that could come from this, he needed to end it before anything happened, before anyone figured out what was going on.
Something about the forbidden made it exciting, what could go wrong with a little harmless flirting? It’s not like she would act upon it, she knew that would be taking it too far. No that would be far too risky. Nothing wrong with a harmless look, a lingering touch here and there. She would be careful not to get caught.
He knew it wouldn’t be as simple as that though, she occupied his mind. She slowly worked her way into his heart and his mind and he wasn’t sure he could rid himself of her. He found her plaguing his dreams at night and his thoughts while awake.
How he longed to feel her, have her body pressed against his. It was wrong, forbidden, yet he couldn’t get her out of his head, he wasn’t sure if he even wanted to.
She was willing to do almost anything to hold onto that feeling for as long as she could. No she didn’t have a death wish, just for the first time in the last eight years with Constantine she finally felt alive once again.
Ten years ago; Philadelphia, Pennsylvania- Bastien:
“Will you stop being a big baby?” Liza asked, hands on her hips, clearly exasperated.
“I’m not being a baby, I just can’t go with you. Next time, I promise.” Bastien replied.
“Seriously Bas? You’re afraid of my father, admit it!”
“I am not afraid of your father, I simply can’t make it.” Bastien replied, sidestepping the truth. Her father did scare him, only because he knew the last time he had found out she was dating a mobster he had sent her away. He was already developing deep feelings for her, deeper than he ever felt before, even with Emmaline and the thought that her father might make her leave terrified him. She had managed to handle meeting Olivia, and even eventually started to win her over, but what if he was unable to win over her father? They had managed to keep his profession from her father thus far, but meeting him would be another story. Liza was insistent that this time would be different, that he wouldn’t be able to get in between the two of them the way he had in her past relationship, Bastien wasn’t so sure. Never in his life had he ever felt so terrified that something would get in the way of his relationship, keep them apart. He had cared, even loved woman before but something about this time, about her was different. The thought of never seeing her again nearly sent him spiraling into a panic.
Liza rolled her eyes, she knew deep down he was worried about what her father would say about him. “I promise you, nothing he can or will say will stop me from seeing you. He doesn’t control me anymore.”
Bastien blew out a long breath, taking her in. She stood looking so strong and sure, hazel eyes shining bright. Could I ask that of her? Could I allow her turn her back on her family? As deep as his feelings for her were, as much as he cared he didn’t think he could be the reason she lost the remainder of her family. He looked at her, her eyes shining with hope, fuck! He knew he couldn’t say no to her. “Fine, I’ll meet him.” He replied giving in.
“Oh he’s going to love you! You’ll see.” Liza exclaimed wrapping her arms around his neck.
Bastien shook his head as he returned the hug. He wished he could have her confidence. He just hoped he wasn’t marking the end of their relationship.
Present day; Trenton, New Jersey:
“Bas, are you sure we should be here?” Liza asked, nervously twirling her teal hair around her finger. Her stomach was twisted in knots at the thought of seeing the woman he shared a child with. A tear streaked down her cheek, she hastily wiped it away before he saw. Hold it together! Her heart ached even more knowing he already had the thing she failed at giving him. She hated the idea of coming face to face with the person he had a child with, but he wouldn’t leave her side. She knew he was afraid she’d try to leave again if he did, can I even compete with her? She succeeded where I failed. She had been ready to walk away from him but couldn’t bear it if he was the one who walked away from her. She knew she wouldn’t survive the heartbreak of losing him too.
Bastien turned to face her, gently tucking a stray teal strand behind her ear, “Liza, she is my past, you are my present and future. You have nothing to worry about.” He stated, his steel grey eyes boring into her soul like the first day they met.
Liza forced a small smile, she wanted to believe him, but she couldn’t stop the doubt that crept into her heart. This was a woman he had a history with, a child, how could she ever compete? What if he saw her and his feelings for her came rushing back? She felt like she was going to be sick, she couldn’t go in there, see her, this woman he once held like he held her. Did he love her? Am I just a cheap replacement? Did he ever really love me? Could I ever have been enough? Doubt filled her mind, making her wish she had been successful when she tried to escape, if she had gotten away she would be spared the pain of watching him fall back in love with her. She nodded her head and followed him into the lobby and up to reception. Here we go! The sinking feeling in her stomach only growing with each passing second. She felt as though she were willingly walking into the death of their relationship, she’d give anything to go back to the confident woman she once was.
“We’re here to see Emmaline Rhys.” Bastien said, his hands resting against the reception desk.
The receptionist turned to her computer typing in the name. Bastien glanced around the lobby as she spoke on the phone. She was here the entire time, so close.
“Someone will be right with you.” The receptionist said smiling.
“Thank you.” Bastien replied nodding. He turned away from the receptionist waiting for whoever they were sending, hoping some of the questions he had would be answered.
Hope walked down the halls to the lobby. Two visitors for her mother who knew her by name. Her heart raced, maybe this one will have answers. She stopped short as she entered the lobby, it’s him. “Dad?” She gasped surprising herself with her own reaction. She had wondered about him for so long and seeing him she knew, she just hoped she would learn why she had grown up without him.
Bastien turned towards her voice, walking a few tentative steps before pausing, standing frozen in place. It had been two decades since he had seen Emmaline, and nearly as long since he had thought of her, staring at him was a girl who looked exactly like her, except the eyes. Her eyes were the same steel grey he saw staring back at him in the mirror everyday. He was stunned, the call from Liam hadn’t prepared him at all for the young girl in front of him now.
Hope took a hesitant step forward, unsure, she had tried to get Liam to tell her something anything about her father but he refused, seemed infuriated by her questions. She dropped them, not wanting to anger the only family to come forward in the twenty years her mother had been there. Questions gnawed at her mind, his father knew who she was and where she was yet just left her there. She questioned if anything Liam said to her would be true, could she trust anything he said? The moment she saw the man standing in front of her she just knew in her gut that he was her father. The nurses and doctors had always told her she looked just like her mother, but spending as much time as she did just staring at her mother, she started to notice the small subtle differences, ones she now saw mirrored in his face. She always thought her chin was just a bit sharper and her eyes set just a tad closer than her mother’s. And then of course there was the eye color, her mother’s were a deep warm chestnut brown, while hers were always this dark piercing steel grey. The second she set eyes on him all questions about how he could leave them behind escaped her, she was just happy to have someone who might be able to finally fill in the pieces. “I’m Hope, Jane Doe’s, I mean Emmaline’s daughter.” She said her voice shaking slightly as she held out her hand. She couldn’t understand why she was nervous, she had always been an open and outgoing person, finding ease with strangers, but with her father finally standing before her, her stomach was a pit of nervous butterflies.
Bastien gaped at Hope, the emotions overcoming him in that moment overwhelming him. Liza stepped forward, her love for him drawing her to aid him even if she was at the cusp of losing him. “I’m Liza, Bastien’s—” She broke off, a lump forming in her throat, uncertainty of where they stood filling her with doubt. “I’m Liza.” She shook Hope’s hand, trying to give her a convincing smile.
Bastien cleared his throat, coming out of his shocked daze, he couldn’t believe he had a child. His eyes flicked to Liza’s stomach, he could only imagine how impossibly hard this must be for her. He grabbed her hand, squeezing it gently, reminding her she wasn’t alone. “I’m not sure what Liam told you about your father—”
“Nothing. He refused to tell me anything about him, I mean you.” Hope quickly cut him off. She was becoming more confused about why Liam would want to withhold information about her father. She had thought at first that he wouldn’t talk to her about it because he didn’t know anything, but clearly Bastien, her father felt he would have told her something.
“Maybe we should sit and I can explain what I know.” Bastien responded, gesturing to the sitting area.
They all moved to the large sitting area, finding three seats apart from the rest, slightly more isolated. “Emmaline, your mother was married to Liam’s father, Constantine Rhys—”
“The New Jersey Murder King?” Hope asked. She was starting to see why maybe her brother would not want to speak about her father, why her mother remained unclaimed for so long, she wanted to hear it from him.
Bastien nodded. “Yes. I was working my way up in the family.” Bastien paused trying to determine how to best explain. “Emmaline fell for Constantine, she was happy for awhile, until he started to want to groom Liam for him to take his position. She realized how much of a mistake she had made falling for him. He had been a different person when they met, and slowly showed her who he really was. She hated the life, she wanted more for Liam. By the time she wanted out, we had started a relationship, I’m not proud of it, it was wrong.” He squeezed Liza’s hand, knowing she’d hate the next part the most. “We had fallen in love by that point, when she told me she wanted to escape, I offered to help her, get her and Liam out safely. We would leave together and live together, but she didn’t want my help, she knew what it would mean for me if I turned my back on the family, especially by helping her escape and she didn’t want me to have to live looking over my shoulder, constantly worried that I had been compromised. She insisted she had another way out, and broke things off with me to keep me safe.” Liza slipped her hand from his, Bastien reached for her, but she shrugged him off. His heart clenched knowing his story was the reason for her pulling away. He swallowed harshly before continuing his story. “If she knew about you, she never told me, probably because she knew I wouldn’t let her decline my offer. Constantine found out, either that she was going to escape, or our relationship, I’m not sure which, but he put a hit on her and asked me to kill Emmaline. I refused, and left. I did try to warn her, but she was avoiding me, I had hoped that the person she said would help her would get them out safely. The next I heard she was dead, and Constantine was saying that I had killed her unprovoked. I knew I was innocent, that I wasn’t the one to actually pull the trigger, but if I had insisted on helping she would have survived, I blamed myself and let him spread whatever lies he wanted, because it was my fault. If I hadn’t allowed myself to get involved with her, or I had insisted she come with me none of this would have happened.”
Hope stared at Bastien, her mouth agape. She wasn’t sure what she was expecting, but she never would have expected that. She could have had both of her parents if her mother hadn’t refused his help, hadn’t insisted on leaving on her own. She wasn’t sure how to react to such a bombshell being dropped. “So her shooting wasn’t accidental?” She questioned.
“No, I’m almost positive that he just gave someone else the hit, but continued to blame me.” Bastien replied.
“So Constantine put a hit on her because she had an affair and was going to leave him, but she somehow survived.” Hope said, more to herself than Bastien and Liza, talking it through to understand. “Dr Casey said she had been shot in the head, that it was a miracle she had survived. She was touch and go for awhile, and was unconscious for months, I guess he paid for her care hoping she would just die and his problem would go away.”
Bastien nodded in agreement. “So she’s conscious now?” He questioned.
“Yes, but the swelling was so severe she lost all of her memory. She has no recollection of who she is or where she’s from, even what happened. At first they had hoped that the memory loss was temporary. Without knowing who she was I was to be made a ward of the state when I was born, Dr Casey fought to be able to adopt me to keep us together. She named me Hope because she hoped my placement would be temporary.” Hope replied. “Would you like to see her?” She questioned rising.
Bastien nodded as he rose. Liza hesitantly stood up, following them both down the hall. Her racing mind tuning out their conversation.
Hope offered a soft smile as she opened the door to her mother’s room, “I’ll give you a minute.”
“Thank you.” Bastien replied as he walked into the room. He walked towards the imposing hospital bed where Emmaline laid sound asleep. He sat in the chair by her bed, taking her hand in his, “oh Emmy, you should have let me help you. You would have been safe, Hope would have had us both. Liam would have had the childhood he deserved and you wanted for him. You should have let me help you.” He said softly, his thumb rubbing along the back of her hand.
Liza watched from by the door not wanting to be in the way. She bit the inside of her lip, trying to keep the tears at bay as she watched him just staring and talking to the sleeping form. Was I ever the woman he loved or was I always the other woman? She felt her heart break in two, she shook her head, trying to shoo the doubts away. Maybe if she was stronger, less broken she wouldn’t doubt his love, but the broken shell she was couldn’t help but fear that she was watching as she lost him. Her heart crumbled as she started to believe her deepest doubts and fears. She wasn’t sure she could ever get over this heartbreak.
A small warm hand on her shoulder pulled her from her thoughts, making Liza jump. “I didn’t mean to startle you.” Hope said softly.
Liza offered her a small forced smile, only Olivia and Bastien would notice it was fake.
“He really loved her, huh?” Hope asked gesturing to her parents.
Liza winced at her words, “yea, I guess he did.” Maybe he still does.
“Why didn’t he look for her?” Hope questioned.
Liza wanted to snap at the younger girl, demand she stop making her think about the man she loved loving someone else, but she knew she was only curious. Liza knew Hope didn’t realize how much it hurt her to think of them together, didn’t know how broken she’d become in the past few weeks. “He was told she was dead, there was no reason for him to doubt it. Everyone thought she was dead.”
***
Liam returned from the director’s office, they had a million questions for him as he claimed Jane Doe, his mother, none of them he could answer. His blood had begun boiling before long at their incessant questions, he didn’t understand why his father would leave her there under Jane Doe while he continued to pay for her care. If he had to guess he would say Hope had something to do with his father’s unwillingness to claim his mother. The realization that he had a sibling left him reeling. Finding his mother and his sister should have been a happy occasion, the truth the facts staring back at him when he looked at Hope just furthered his anger at Bastien.
Liam still couldn’t wrap his head around the fact that his mother would go behind his father’s back like that. They had always been happy, there is no way she would willingly cheat on father! His hatred towards Bastien grew, the flames of fury fanned by the depth of betrayal by a man that he had once trusted and cared for.
Liam bit down on the inside of his cheek, trying to keep his rage in check. His call to Bastien had been a moment of weakness, he needed to control himself and contain his rage. He needed to be careful and keep his hand concealed as he worked out his new plan of retribution.
Liam clenched his jaw, his hands balling up into fits as he rounded the corner. Seeing Hope standing outside with the woman who’s picture he had stared at for weeks had him seething. Who the hell does he think he is coming here to see her?! “Bastien!” He shouted as she stormed in the room past Liza and Hope.
Bastien looked up from Emmaline, quickly vacating the seat by her bed.
“Liam!” Hope exclaimed, grabbing at him, her grey eyes wide as saucers. “Please not here.” She pleaded.
Liam shrugged her hand off of his arm, he should have known she would side with her father. What lies has he filled her head with?
Bastien slowly, purposefully walked towards Liam, his hands up in a placating manner. He could understand his anger towards him, he needed to explain the truth to him, but he needed to do it carefully, he refused to allow the three woman, or anyone else, to become collateral damage. “Hope is right, let’s take this outside as to not startle Emmaline.”
Liam flexed his hands, trying to relieve some of the tension, he spun on his heel and stalked out to the lobby. He stopped and turned as he reached the front desk, his need to expose Bastien for the traitor he was to everyone in the room winning out. He turned, narrowing his eyes at Bastien. His lips twitched, he tried to to conceal his smile when he saw Liza and Hope following Bastien. At least now she will learn the truth of her father! “You made me look like an idiot! You made me feel weak! You made me question every decision I made because I felt bad about what happened with Liza, and the entire time you knew! You knew my mom was pregnant and you were the father and you tried to kill her because of it!” Liam shouted, the vein in his neck pulsing with every word. How dare he come here, and act like he had any rights? Bastien was the reason she was even there, he could have grown up with his mom if it wasn’t for Bastien Lykel. God, I’m such a fucking fool! I felt bad for him! He didn’t want the first child, he didn’t deserve this one! His hands curled into fists, he would end this right here, right now if he had to.
“The only one that made you look weak was the man standing in front of me! You made yourself weak by listening to your father! I never knew! If I had, I would have insisted that she let me help her. She wanted to leave, she wanted to get you out, but she didn’t want me involved more, she was trying to protect me when I should have been protecting them. I thought if I left she’d be safe, that she’d get out without my help. She said she had help! I never should have left, I never should have trusted——“ Bastien countered, shaking his head. It was obvious the younger man was angry and would never listen. Liam had every right to be angry at him, he failed Emmaline and their child. Dammit why didn’t she tell me?!
“Shouldn’t have trusted who? Who else could have wanted my mother dead?” Liam asked, scoffing. He’s just spouting lies, trying to make me feel sorry for him! He wouldn’t concede, he wouldn’t listen to a word that came out of the bastard who took his mother away from him.
“Constantine, that’s who! Why would I kill her? I love her! Had I known she was pregnant she wouldn’t be here, she would be safe with me!”
Liza let out a choked sob at his words, her heart shattering into a million pieces. I love her, he said love, not loved! She felt like a fool to ever think she could make him happy. Maybe this is why I lost the baby, cause he already had everything he wanted but didn’t know. Liza turned on her heel and ran, she couldn’t stay, she needed to leave, she needed to escape. I should have left when I had the chance! She couldn’t watch him be happy, live the life that was taken from them, the thought of watching his happiness with someone else made her heart twist into knots. She hopped in a just vacated cab, her need to get far away guiding her. She looked down at her phone through tear filled eyes, fat tears splattering the screen obscuring the screen. She wiped the screen with her shirt, then pulled up her contacts. She texted the only person she knew she could count on in that moment. The only person that would help her no matter what, zero questions asked. She needed the one person she knew wouldn’t judge her.
L- I need to get away. Can I please come see you?
P- Anytime, you know that. Are you okay?
L- I’m fine, or I will be. I’ll explain everything when I get there, promise.
P- Okay, just promise me you’ll be safe.
L- I will.
Liza tucked her phone back in her pocket, her father had been right all along, she needed someone with a normal mundane job. Being with a mobster would only ever bring her pain.
What was I thinking? Why did I think this was real? Liza never thought she would end up so devastated. It didn’t seem fair, she’d been so close to being happy with him forever, then one by one the rugs were pulled out from under her.
Bastien snapped his head to Liza when he heard her unsuccessfully stifle her cry. Shit! “Liza!” Bastien shouted, as he ran, following her out of the lobby. He stood frozen as he watched her cab drive off, he xxwas too late she was gone.
