What the Heart Desires

Summary: Atia has been trying to take things further with Syphax, but knowing they cannot be together, he won’t give in. Will she finally convince him that it’s what she needs?

Syphax walks Atia back to her room at the scholae after another evening with Senator Cassius. Cassius has continued to employ her company at such a cost and frequency that she’s not had to entertain other patrons, and she’d be content to keep it that way. Cassius has charmed her from the start, and she finds him much more compassionate and kind than she ever thought a Roman could be. Lena has said Atia never has to consent to anything she isn’t comfortable doing, but Atia also knows Cassius is a virile man with needs. If she’s honest with herself she has those same needs too. The heated kisses and caresses have been increasing in intensity, and she knows she can’t hold out much longer, but there’s something, or she should say someone, holding her back.

Atia looks up at the tall, dark, and handsome protector at her side. His smooth, dark complexion, deep brown eyes, and strong, muscular frame stand in stark contrast to her flaxen hair, bright green eyes, and petite figure. She sighs heavily as she fantasizes about what they could have if things were different. They’ve kissed and come close to giving into their desires. She’s all but confessed her love for him, and he for her, but every time she dreams out loud of what they could be, Syphax brings her back to reality. The reality that although Lena treats Atia well, she is endebted to Lena. Atia tells him they could leave, but he reminds her that with no employment and no family to turn to, they’d have no way to survive.

Atia frowns as she watches the somber look on Syphax’s face. His brilliant smiles have come fewer and farther between since her debut. Each visit with Cassius further cements that Atia belongs only to the men who pay for her company, and all he will be is the man entrusted to keep her safe. She wishes Syphax could see that although her patrons can buy her body, they will never own her heart, for it has already been captured by him.

Atia sets her oil lamp on the bedside table in her room. Syphax stops at her door, ready to bid her goodnight, but she’s desperate not to let him go. He worries her value would diminish if her patrons learned she were no longer a virgin at the hands of a mere bodyguard, but she feels like her first time would be cheapened if it were with any man but him. Her first love.

Atia steps into the doorway and grasps Syphax’s hand as he turns to leave. “Wait…please stay.”

Syphax scans the hallway to ensure no one sees him before ducking into Atia’s room. He wraps her in his strong embrace and places a kiss atop her head. “Atia…you know why we cannot. Yet you continue to ask, and every time it gets harder to deny you.”

“So don’t deny me.” She grins up at him and stands on her tiptoes to sneak a quick kiss on his lips. “Why is it wrong if it is what we both want?”

“Cassius expects a virginal princess. Imagine the consequences if he finds out I defiled you.” He grazes a thumb lightly over cheek and holds her closer. His words are telling her no, but his body is saying the opposite. Maybe, just maybe, he will give in this time.

“Syphax, I cannot bear the thought of lying with any man for the first time other than you. I don’t want to feel nervous, afraid, and unloved, like I am just a means to an end. As kind as Cassius has been to me, the fact remains that he is my patron and I am his commodity.” She stares intently at him, tears starting to well in her eyes. “I love you, Syphax. With you I feel safe and at ease. You would be doing me a great favor. Nobody will know but you and I, I promise.”

Syphax groans. “Atia…you aren’t making this easy for me. That is not a promise you can guarantee.”

Atia hangs her head. “I know, I just-”

“But,” Syphax’s mouth curves upward into a smile. “You are more than worth the risk. There is nothing I long for more than to make you mine before any other man – to show you how much I love you.” He palms her backside with both hands and presses his hips into her. Can you feel how much I want you?”

There is no mistaking his excitement when she feels his firm phallus pressing into her through the flowy fabric of her gown. A warmth rushes to her loins and her pulse quickens. She’s dreamt of this for so long, and it’s finally happening. “It appears you want me as much as I want you.” She smirks and wastes no time, rapidly disrobing and letting her gown fall to the stone tiles beneath her feet.

Syphax drinks in the site of her like he’s trying to commit every curve to memory. He closes the distance between them and runs his hands over her shoulders and down her arms, leaving a trail of goosebumps along the way. He stops at her hips and changes direction, moving up her sides until he reaches her breasts. He cups the soft flesh and massages her stiff pink buds with his thumbs, creating twinges of ecstasy in her core. She tightens her grip on his posterior as he crushes his mouth upon hers. In one fluid motion, he breaks the kiss to scoop Atia into his arms, and places atop the down filled mattress.

Syphax strips of his clothes before lying next to her. She’s seen him unclothed before in the baths, but she still sucks in a deep breath at the sight of him. The sculptures adorning the city pale in comparison to his perfection. He tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. “I want you to enjoy this as much as I will, but I fear it may be a bit uncomfortable for you this first time. Will you allow me to pleasure you first?”

Atia trusts Syphax implicitly, and his words send a thrill through her. “Yes, I would like that,” she consents.

Syphax trails a hand up her leg until he reaches the apex of her thigh. He dips the tip of his finger past her entrance, and she reflexively tightens around it. Once she relaxes, he glides it the rest of the way in, and a moan escapes her lips. He whispers in her ear. “You are doing amazing, my love. Are you ready for more?” She nods, and he slips another finger in and pumps them in and out at an even pace. He pulls his fingers out and upward, hitting her most sensitive place, and she writhes beneath his touch, the intensity almost too much to bear.

Her skin is hot beneath his touch, and as he draws rhythmic circles over her sensitive bud, she feels a warm pressure building inside that’s begging for release. “Keep going,” she pleads as she knows this is the only way to achieve the resolution she seeks. Syphax agrees and works his fingers faster. Suddenly she’s seeing stars and her insides are quaking, sending ripples of pleasure from her center on out. She whimpers with each intense pulse until the shockwaves dissipate.

Syphax peppers her with kisses. “You are so beautiful when you come undone.” He strokes her cheek. “Are you certain this is still what you want?”

“You aren’t trying to back out now, are you?” Atia teases.

Syphax chuckles. “No, no. Just making sure, but please let me know if you need me to stop.” He positions himself over her and presses his tips against her entrance. Despite how wet she is, it’s a tight fit, and she feels some resistance. She winces as his first couple inches push inside. He pauses and waits for her instruction.

“It’s okay. Keep going.” She urges and he obliges, slowly lowering himself the rest of the way. The uncomfortably tight feeling only lasts a few moments longer, and she grabs his hips to encourage him. He rocks against her and she moans and gasps every time hit hits deep inside her. “Oh, Syphax…”

“Atia, you feel incredible.” He clutches her to his chest as he increases his pace. His breaths become labored until suddently he tenses as he finds his release inside her. He pulls out and and rest on his side next to her and presses a kiss to her forehead. “You were wonderful, my love.”

“As were you.” Atia smiles contentedly. She hadn’t been sure what to expect, but she’s completely sated and even more in love with him than ever. They clean themselves up and she dresses for bed. “Will you lie next to me…for just a bit?” He looks ready to tell her he shouldn’t, but instead climbs back into the bed with her. She nestles into his arms and closes her eyes, enjoying the moment, for she knows he will not be there when she wakes.