Wildest Dreams
By Misha
Disclaimer- Not mine. I’m just borrowing them for a little while and will return them when I am finished.
Author’s Notes- I was listening to my usual playlist and when “Wildest Dreams” came on, it suddenly hit me how this song could be really fitting for Liam and Eleanor and then this idea pretty much wrote itself. It’s super angsty, be warned. It’s kind of a worst case scenario fic.
Paring- Liam/MC
Rating- Definitely Mature content, nothing explicit though.
Summary- Liam and Eleanor spend one last night together before she leaves Cordonia.
Words- 2230
He said let’s get out of this town
Drive out of the city
Away from the crowds
I thought heaven can’t help me now
Nothing lasts forever
As I pack my bags, I think back to the whirlwind of the last several months. Not just the engagement tour, but my whole time in Cordonia. I bite my lip, thinking of the moments Liam and I had stolen together during the social season.
Those ones had been different than our time together during the engagement tour because we’d been different then. Back then, we’d both believed that this would be forever. That it would end in happily ever after.
The engagement tour had been different, for all that we’d talked about forever, we’d also talked about what-ifs and come to accept that we may not get a happy ending.
I stop packing for a moment, as I remember Capri, and the first time Liam had put words to the scenario we both feared. The one that was only days away from being a reality and the reason I was packing my bags.
I’d been able to handle the stolen moments, the secret encounters that we had to hide from the rest of the world, but only while I had hope. Now that that hope was almost extinguished… Well, it was time to cut my losses. It was time for me to leave.
I had followed my prince to Cordonia, in search of happily ever after, but I now know that wasn’t to be. There will be no happy ending for Liam and I. In the end, all we got are a few stolen moments and memories that will have to last the rest of my life.
Because I finally had to accept that I will never be Liam’s queen and I know I can never be his mistress.
But this is gonna take me down
He’s so tall, and handsome as hell
He’s so bad but he does it so well
I can see the end as it begins my one condition is
Just then, there’s a knock on my bedroom door.
“Come in,” I call out, expecting Hana or Maxwell. They both know I’m leaving and neither of them is happy, but they understand why I have to go.
I don’t expect Liam, since I haven’t been able to bring myself to tell him that I’m leaving, but there he is and one look on his face tells me he already knows.
I’m not really surprised. Maxwell has a big mouth, after all, and a romantic heart. I think he’s still hoping for a miracle.
Liam looks at the suitcase on the bed and then back at me. “You’re leaving.”
I nod. “Tomorrow.”
The day before his wedding. I can’t stay and watch him marry someone else, but I’ll give it one more night and hope for a miracle. I look at Liam, memorizing every detail of his face. I know I’ll never forget him and I doubt I’ll ever stop loving him.
He’s looking at me, just as intently. “Ellie…” The endearment is almost too much for me to bear.
“Please, don’t,” I beg. If things were different, he could call me Ellie all he wanted, we’d be allowed to have that familiarity, but things weren’t different. I’m not his. I can never be his. Even if some part of me will always be his.
He nods and I can see the sorrow on his face, “Eleanor, I…”
“I know,” I tell him, softly, stepping towards him. “I have to go, Liam. I can’t stay and watch you marry her.”
“I know,” he says and I can hear his regret, “I…” He trails off, unable to continue.
I can see the pain and anger and helplessness on his face. He is king, but there is nothing he can do to fix this mess. He is as helpless as I am, both of us pawns in a game that we still don’t understand.
Say you’ll remember me
Standing in a nice dress, staring at the sunset babe
Red lips and rosy cheeks
Say you’ll see me again even if it’s just in your wildest dreams (Ah ah)
Wildest dreams (Ah ah)
“Promise me, you won’t forget me,” I say after a moment, a little desperately.
Liam laughs, but there’s no humor in it. “I could never forget you.” He places a hand on my face. “I know you’re going to haunt me for the rest of my life, Eleanor. I have a feeling that I’m going to see you in my dreams for years to come. I’m going to remember every moment we had and every one we could have had.”
“Me too,” I whisper, tears threatening to escape.
I think of the lifetime that Liam and I could have had together. The one that I let myself begin to dream about during the social season and which I fought to keep alive throughout the engagement tour. The life where we got to marry and have children and love each other until we were old and grey.
It wouldn’t have been a perfect life. I know I would have struggled with the restrictions that came with marrying Liam and there would have been ups and downs, but we would have made it work because we loved each other that much and a lifetime with him would have been worth a few sacrifices.
Liam was the love of my life, the fact that our story was about to have a tragic ending didn’t change that.
In Paris, we had talked about being star-crossed lovers and I had hoped we’d avoid that fate, but apparently, life had others plans. Apparently, we weren’t meant to be a fairytale after all, instead, our story was destined to be a tragedy. The prince would marry the evil witch and the commoner would go home and try to rebuild her life and try not to think about what might have been.
I said no one has to know what we do
His hands are in my hair, his clothes are in my room
And his voice is a familiar sound, nothing lasts forever
But this is getting good now
He’s so tall, and handsome as hell
He’s so bad but he does it so well
And when we’ve had our very last kiss
But my last request it is
We stand there for a long moment, neither of us knowing what to say and finally, I find the words. “Stay with me?” I ask him, “just for tonight?”
Liam hesitates, no doubt thinking of the risk and the scandal, but in the end, he nods, desire winning out over common sense. Besides, this is the last chance we’ll ever have to be together, I don’t think either of us wants to waste it.
He steps closer to me, pulling me into his arms and lowering his mouth to mine in a crushing kiss. I wrap my arms around his neck, clinging to him.
“I love you,” I whisper against his lips, needing him to know that.
“I love you too,” he tells me, as he runs his hands through my hair before burying his face in my neck, “so much.”
Despite our initial desperation, we undress each other slowly, savoring every moment. If this is the last time we are ever together, I want to make it memorable. After all, we have to fit a lifetime of loving into this one night. I make sure to savor every kiss, every caress so that I can remember them later, when I’m back in New York, missing him and wondering what might have been.
Say you’ll remember me
Standing in a nice dress, staring at the sunset babe
Red lips and rosy cheeks
Say you’ll see me again even if it’s just in your wildest dreams (Ah ah) (Ah ah)
Wildest dreams (Ah ah)
Afterward, we lay entwined on my bed and I rest my head on his chest, savoring the feel of him.
“When you think of me, think of Paris,” I say impulsively. “The two of us and the Eiffel Tower, me in that beautiful designer dress and you looking so handsome. It was perfect. That’s how I want to remember us.”
“I’ll never be able to think of Paris without thinking of you,” he tells me, running his hands through my hair. “Every time I visit the city, I know I’ll think of you and remember what it was like to be there with you. But, that’s not my favorite memory of you.”
“Oh?” I ask, turning my head to look at him. “What is your favorite memory?”
“Applewood,” Liam says instantly, “in the maze. That was the first time I really believed that I would get to keep you and I just remember how incredibly happy I was.”
“Me too,” I say softly. That afternoon had been perfect and then that night the plot against me had gone into motion, ruining that perfect happiness.
“If you have to become a memory, I want it to be that one,” Liam tells me quietly, “sitting on that swing, smiling up at me as we talk about our future.”
Except that future would never come to pass. I blink back tears, knowing that if I let them fall, I might never stop crying and I didn’t want that to be Liam’s last memory of me.
You see me in hindsight
Tangled up with you all night
Burn it down
Some day when you leave me
We lay in silence for a while, both of us lost in our thoughts, neither of us wanting to think about the future that lay ahead of us.
“I could abdicate,” He says finally, desperately.
It’s not the first time he’s made the offer and I know he means it, but I shake my head sadly. “No you can’t,” I tell him, the way I do every time the option comes up. “Cordonia needs you, Liam.”
If the last few months have taught me anything, it’s that Cordonia is a mess and that there is a lot going on between the surface, the last thing the country needs is more uncertainty. And while I know Liam’s offer is sincere, that he loves me that much, I also know he’d come to regret it because as much as he loves me, he loves Cordonia just as much.
“You are going to do so many great things as King,” I tell him softly, running my hands over his face, “and know that I’ll be watching the news, following a long and cheering you on. I can’t wait to see the great things you are going to do, Liam. Cordonia is lucky to have you.”
I mean what I say, I’ll follow his reign with interest, but I also know I’ll never step foot in Cordonia after I leave.
Liam doesn’t say anything, I can see the regret on his face. He knows I’m right, but he hates it. Still, he can’t abdicate, we both it. Liam’s destiny was set in stone before we met, he was meant for this path. For a while, I had hope that I would be there to ease his burden, but apparently, that was not meant to be.
I bet these memories hunt you around
You see me in hindsight
Tangled up with you all night
Burn it down (Burn it down)
Some day when you leave me
I bet these memories follow you around (Follow you around)
After a few moments of silence, Liam reaches for me again, his lips capturing mine in another desperate kiss. I can feel his need, his desperation and I match it with my own.
This time, there’s nothing slow or deliberate about our movements. Instead, our every movement is driven by a furious need for one another and the knowledge that our moment of separation is approaching.
I cling to him as I cry out his name, wondering if anyone else will ever be able to make me feel the way he does.
“Oh Ellie,” he whispers in desperation over and over as he shudders against me.
This time I don’t correct him, I let the nickname fall off his lips as I hold him close to me, wishing we had the luxury of being two normal people in love. That we could be Liam and Ellie and that we had a lifetime of happiness awaiting us.
When he goes to move away, to roll off of me, I wrap my limbs around him and press him closer, not ready to let him go. Not when I’ll soon have to let him go forever.
Say you’ll remember me
Standing in a nice dress, staring at the sunset babe
Red lips and rosy cheeks
Say you’ll see me again even if it’s just pretend
Eventually, though, he does move off of me, onto his back and he pulls me against him, holding me close.
I breathe in the scent and feel of him, letting myself imagine what it would feel to have a lifetime of this. To fall asleep in his arms and wake up with him next to me, to grow old with him by my side.
I can see Liam watching me and I know he wants to ask me to stay, but he doesn’t and I’m grateful. As much as I love him, I can’t do it.
The last few months were hard enough, made me feel dirty and wrong, but as long as I could let myself hope, I could justify it. However, that hope is almost exhausted and that means so is my time in Cordonia.
I can’t stay and watch him marry another woman and I can’t stay and be his mistress. As much as I love him, I just can’t do it. I know if I try, my love for him with wither and die, instead it’s better to leave while I still have my pride and with nothing but good memories.
Say you’ll remember me
Standing in a nice dress, staring at the sunset babe
Red lips and rosy cheeks
Say you’ll see me again even if it’s just (Just pretend, just pretend) in your wildest dreams (Ah ah)
In your wildest dreams (Ah ah)
Even if it’s just in your wildest dreams (Ah ah)
In your wildest dreams (Ah ah)
Finally, the time comes where he has to go back to his own room.
This is it, this is goodbye.
I won’t seek him out again before I leave for the airport. So unless a miracle happens, this will be the last time I ever see him.
“I love you,” I tell him, wrapping my arms around him and holding him close after we’ve both dressed.
“I love you,” he says, staring into my eyes, “so much. Whatever happens, that will never change, I’ll always love you, Eleanor.”
We kiss again and it’s full of sadness and longing. It’s the last kiss we will ever share and it contains a lifetime worth of love and regret.
“Goodbye, Eleanor,” Liam whispers, running a gentle hand over my face.
“Goodbye Liam,” I say quietly, struggling to get the words out.
He looks at me for a long moment and then he turns to go.
I watch him leave and then I collapse on the bed, the tears finally overwhelming me. As I lie there, sobbing into my pillow, I still desperately hope for a miracle, for some other end to our story.
- End
