Summary: MC (Charlotte) and Chris finally have the discussion they should’ve had in the first place.
CW: Brief mention of pregnancy loss
Notes: Sorry, Zig stans! I know some of you were disappointed with how this turned out. Trust me, I adore Zig, but I personally felt like Chris and Charlotte ultimately had a stronger connection. Hopefully this section helps to demonstrate that but, if not, then I still appreciate that you took the time to read my work 💕
Thank you to everyone who has been so encouraging and supportive of this series so far, you are all wonderful and I appreciate you so much ❤️ We’re at the end! Only an epilogue to go and then we say goodbye for now (although there’s a very good chance some of these characters will show up in The Boxer AU … stay tuned …
Chris led Charlotte into the living room and turned on a lamp, gesturing for her to sit down. She sat on one end of the couch and Chris sat beside her, a respectful amount of space between them.
“Did I wake you?” she asked.
“Kind of, but it’s okay, I’m glad you did,” he reassured her. “Although I was expecting a phone call, not you on my doorstep.”
“Yeah, I … didn’t call.”
“I gathered.”
She glanced at him and was relieved to see a small smile twitch at the corners of his lips.
“So … you said you wanted to talk,” Charlotte said, feeling both as if she was bursting with things to say and equally unable to say anything.
“Yeah,” Chris said. He stared down at his hands. “I … I’m sorry for the way I handled things at the flower shop. I shouldn’t have yelled at you.”
“Chris, wait,” Charlotte said, turning to look at him. “You were right. I should’ve stayed so we could talk more. I … god, sorry, I’m not very good at explaining myself, I’m much better on paper.”
“Charlotte, you don’t have to explain anything to me if you don’t want to,” Chris said gently.
“No, I want to. You’ve always been really open and honest with me, and I want to do that for you. There’s a lot I wanted to say that day, but I didn’t.” She took a deep breath. “Okay, I’m just going to start over.” She stood up, feeling too keyed up to sit still, and started to pace in front of the coffee table. “About a year ago, I ran into James and we started seeing each other even though he was engaged. I knew he was engaged, but I did it anyway. I cared about James and at first, I figured just a little bit of him was better than none of him. Then I started to hate myself for what I–what we–were doing, but I didn’t stop. I just went along with it, hoping he’d pick me.”
She swallowed hard and glanced over at Chris, who was watching her with a neutral, unreadable expression on his face. “Then the wedding plans started moving forward and my editor started to bug me about my next book, so James came up with the solution of lending me his cabin. He conveniently stashed me up here while he was getting married; I don’t know if he thought I was going to show up and make some kind of scene, but he made sure to put a lot of distance between us. But I still heard from him when I was up here. He called me during his bachelor party and told me he wished he was marrying me instead of his wife, and that he loved me. But then he married her anyway and took off on their honeymoon. He sent me a postcard from Paris, but I ripped it up. I wanted to be done with him.”
“But then he showed up.”
Charlotte nodded. “Then he showed up. I had no idea he was coming. After you left that morning, he and I talked and he wanted our relationship to continue, but I said no and I ended it. He offered to let me stay in his cabin for as long as I wanted–he called it the divorce settlement we’ll never have–but I couldn’t stay there.”
She stopped pacing and looked at Chris. “The whole thing with Nicole … when she told my you were engaged, I just felt like I was falling back into the same shitty pattern I’ve been in for the last year. I realize how hypocritical that was of me to get so upset and just take off like that, but I was having such a deja vu feeling and I just had to get out of there.”
“That … makes a lot more sense,” Chris said. “I wish you’d told me that before.”
“I wish I had, too,” Charlotte said. “I told you, I’m better on paper than in person.”
“I don’t know, I think you’re pretty okay in person,” he said with a half smile.
“I have more to tell you,” she said quickly, not wanting to lose her nerve.
“Okay.”
“So, remember how we said we weren’t exclusive?” Chris nodded. “Okay, well, I was seeing someone else in town this summer as well.”
Chris shrugged. “Okay.”
Charlotte stared at him. “You’re not upset?”
He shrugged again. “We weren’t exclusive, I don’t feel like I have a right to be upset. Admittedly, I’m a little jealous because I want you all to myself, but that’s my issue, not yours.”
Want. Present tense.
“But you got so upset about James.”
He sighed. “It wasn’t that you were seeing someone else. I guess it was more of a reactionary thing because you got so upset over the Nicole thing while keeping this big secret from me about actually being involved with someone who was engaged. Look, I’m not proud of how I reacted in my office. I guess … I don’t know, I’d just told you about everything that happened with the … this miscarriage,” he said, slightly tripping over the word, “and I felt kind of … embarrassed.”
“Embarrassed how?”
“Embarrassed like I’d opened up so much and told you so much, about my mom and Nicole and everything else, but you were holding me at arm’s length. I just felt kind of stupid, like I was putting it all out there but you didn’t trust me enough to be honest about what you were dealing with.”
“Chris …”
“No, it’s my own fault. My pride took a hit and I lashed out. Like I said, I’m really not proud of that day.” He took a deep breath and leaned back on the couch, looking down at his hands. “I was also upset that you didn’t want to stay in Hull so we could talk more, like this,” he said, gesturing between them. “But then once you left, I realized this wasn’t about me. You’ve been dealing with a lot and you needed some breathing room to figure things out. I figured if you wanted to talk to me, you would. I didn’t want to push you. I wasn’t even going to text you, but … I don’t know, I guess I couldn’t help myself. Believe me, it took a lot of restraint to not just get in my truck and drive down to Boston the day you left.”
“Why didn’t you?”
“Like I said, you seemed like you needed space and I wanted to respect that.” Chris looked up at her. He regarded her for a moment before speaking again, softer than before. “Charlotte, why are you here? Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad to see you, but … why?”
Charlotte looked down at the floor, unsure of how to begin. “I had an interesting conversation with my sister tonight. About an hour into my drive here, I called her, convinced I was doing something completely stupid. She pointed out to me that I’ve spent a lot of my life letting other people make my decisions for me and she’s right; I tend to let life happen to me rather than actually experiencing what I want.” She hesitated for a moment, but forged onward. “I didn’t really plan to drive up here tonight,” Charlotte said, gesturing to her leggings and Trash Panda shirt, “but I’m glad I did. Even if this blows up in my face, I’m still going after what I want.” She paused, suddenly aware of how dry her mouth felt. “Which is you. Just you.”
Chris stayed very still, his eyes locked on hers. Charlotte felt herself begin to panic, but she forced her voice to stay calm. “I don’t know how that would even work out because I live in Boston and you’re very established here, but Kaitlyn says I talk too much about geography–”
Her words were cut off when Chris suddenly stood up and jumped over his coffee table to reach her, cupping her face in his hands and kissing her. She kissed him back, covering his hands with hers. When he pulled back from her, his eyes were shining with unspilled tears, but his voice was steady.
“I’m in love with you, Charlotte,” he said, his eyes meeting hers. “And your sister is right, you do talk too much about geography.”
“Oh my god, you scared me!” Charlotte exclaimed, swatting at his stomach. “You’ve been so stoic since I got here, I thought you were going to kick me out and make me sleep in my car.”
“When would I ever do something like that?” Chris said, pulling her into a tight hug. “And I wasn’t trying to be stoic, I was listening to you!”
“Oh, sure, just respect me by listening to what I have to say,” she muttered.
Chris laughed. “I know, I’m the worst.”
“The absolute worst,” Charlotte agreed, tilting her face up towards his to kiss him. “And that’s why I love you.”
He smiled and brushed the hair back from her face. “I’m not perfect. I don’t always think before I speak and I can be kind of a jackass. But I’m all in, if you’ll have me.”
“I guess you’ll do.” She dissolved into laughter when Chris tickled her sides. “Okay, okay! I’m all in, too.” Charlotte paused. “And speaking of all in … does the offer to go to Germany still stand?”
Chris let go of her and headed into the kitchen, leaving Charlotte standing there, confused.
“Okay, not the response I expected,” she said under her breath. Chris returned a moment later, holding an envelope. He held it out to her and she took it. When she opened it, she found a plane ticket to Berlin with her name on it. “You already bought my ticket?”
He shrugged with a smile. “I was hopeful.”
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