Yearly Rememberance

Yearly Remembrance

By Misha

Disclaimer– Not mine.

Author’s Note- This is only my second IT Lives in the Woods fic and it’s a birthday gift for EndlessFlame. It’s set 4 years after the final chapter of ILITW.

Pairing- Connor/MC

Rating- PG

Summary- Phoebe participated in a bittersweet ritual and shares a tender early morning moment with Connor.

Words- 571

Phoebe got up early, Connor still sleeping peacefully beside her, and headed to the kitchen.

She pulled out the ingredients she needed and began to bake in the quiet of the morning, her thoughts trapped in the past, on the meaning of this day.

After the cake was in the oven, she poured herself a coffee and she was sipping it, her thoughts still a million miles away, when Connor came into the kitchen.

He was still in his pajama bottoms, shirtless, his blonde hair dishevelled. He immediately wrapped his arms around her.

“You’re up early,” he observed before he pulled back to pour himself a cup of coffee and then pulled up a chair, “and is that cake I smell baking?”

Phoebe blushed. They had only recently moved in together, so she’d never had to explain her weird ritual before.

“It’s Noah’s birthday,” she explained hesitantly, “I know it’s silly but…”

Connor reached over and squeezed her hand, “it makes sense and it fits, that’s the kind of person you are, thoughtful.”

“Not that thoughtful,” Phoebe sighed, “maybe if I had observed Noah’s birthday when he was with us…”

“You can’t blame yourself,” Connor told her, “you were a kid. You weren’t the one you failed Noah.”

He’d been saying that for the last five years but Phoebe wasn’t sure she’d ever believe it.

“I just… I’m so happy,” she admitted, “I love my new job, there’s you, the wedding coming up… I have everything and poor Noah and I only even think of him once a year.”

It wasn’t that she purposely forgot about him, it was more that life kept her busy and the horror had faded to only a few days of the year.

“But you still think of him,” Connor pointed out, “still go through the trouble of making him a birthday cake. Whatever Noah is, I’m sure some part of him still appreciates it.”

“I hope so,” Phoebe whispered, she’d never engaged with Noah, dropping off the cake and hurrying was the closest she’d come, though she’d seen his outline, he’d kept his distance. He had never harmed any of them.

But would he? And how could they help him? It was a question they’d been asking for five years with no answer, much to Ava’s dismay.

“Do you want me to go with you?” Connor offered, “I can rearrange my day.”

She shook her head, “Ava is going with me.” She smiled at him over the coffee cup, “just don’t forget we have our own cake appointment today.”

“I could never,” Connor promised as he stood up. He gave her a quick kiss before exiting the kitchen, presumably to shower and get ready for work.

Phoebe stood up as well, gathering their coffee cups and washing hem, setting them in the drying rack just as the oven went off.

She took the cake out of the oven and then set it to cool, before going upstair to join Connor. Maybe it was selfish, after all today was a day to focus on the past, but she also needed a reminder of the present, of the future, and a shower shared with her fiancé was a good way to do that.

She would find a way to help Noah, at least she’d never stop trying, but she also had to keep living her life. To appreciate all the things that Noah had sacrificed himself for.

• End