Author’s Note: Another ridiculously silly fic for Drake and Emma, incorporating @debramcg1106’s request for fic prompt #35 “shopping together” AND as a special birthday gift to @lazychic28. Apparently she has a thing for Drake’s punny jokes. Please consider this your warning … bad jokes ahead!
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“Every time … every time, Drake!” Emma grunted fiercely, aggressively maneuvering one of the shopping carts from the long line of carts at the front of the store. The child’s safety belt from the cart behind the one she had selected was hooked through the grates of hers, making it impossible to extract the large metal basket on wheels no matter how hard she pulled. Emma gave it another forceful tug and a loud groan but was still unsuccessful.
Drake gently placed his hand on her shoulder, meeting her eyes for a moment as they flitted to his upon contact. He nodded quietly, murmuring a soft “Here let me help,” then proceeded to deftly fish the offending strap out from the metal grating to free both carts. He looked back over to his wife, her knuckles white as she gripped the handle and eyes glossy with unshed tears. She released a long sigh when he enclosed her in his arms, resting her forehead against his shoulder for a brief moment.
“I’m sorry Drake, I know I shouldn’t let her get to me … “ she leaned back to peer up into his eyes, wiping away the few rogue tears on her cheeks. “I was just hoping that maybe this time would be different. I mean we’re married now, we’ve made a wonderful life in Cordonia … hell, we run a entire Duchy!” She looked down at her hands, still gripping the handle. “I just don’t know when it’s ever going to be good enough for her. Every time I see her, it’s like I’m still this awkward teenager and she’s constantly nitpicking at me.”
“I think you’re doing great, Em. You’ve held your tongue, put those diplomacy lessons to good use … Come on, let’s get what we need.” Drake stroked her back and placed a chaste peck to the top of her head, then turned her shoulders to guide her and the cart into the bustling suburban New Jersey grocery store. The couple was back in the United States to spend their first Thanksgiving as a married couple with Emma’s mother Cindy and stepfather in New Jersey. Despite the fact that Emma hadn’t seen her mother since before she had left for Cordonia over two years ago, she was optimistic that her own good fortune and her mother’s happy fourth marriage would provide the perfect opportunity for a pleasant visit. Unfortunately, less than 24 hours under the same roof and Emma was already feeling deflated and exhausted from the constant bickering with her mother.
The pair sauntered into the produce section, Emma reading the list of the last-minute items they needed to prepare the Thanksgiving feast tomorrow. “Okay, we need to get broccoli for the casserole and celery for the stuffing.” She marched over to the greens, bagging the veggies as Drake studied the shelves where he waited. He found a jar of one of his favorite treats and smiled, picking it up and hiding it behind his back when Emma returned. “Okay, now we need to go to the bakery.” She started pushing the cart but paused when Drake grasped her by the arm.
“Em, I hope you know how much you mean to me. How much olive you.” He gave her a goofy grin as he handed her a jar of pimento-stuffed green olives.
Emma held the jar in front of her, her brow furrowed in confusion while she processed his statement. And then she laughed … well, more of a snort than a laugh, shaking her head and rolling her eyes as she handed him back the jar. “You’re ridiculous, you know that, right?”
Drake shrugged, the corners of his mouth tugging upwards in a sly smirk. “Hey, I just thought you should know. But yeah, we’re getting these.” He leaned over to place the jar delicately into the cart, pressing a quick kiss to Emma’s cheek as stood back up. “Alright, bakery. You lead the way, Boss.”
Emma inhaled the aroma of fresh-baked bread and sweet treats as they approached the bakery section, closing her eyes for a moment to savor the fragrance. “My God, I love carbs. And I plan to eat plenty of them while I’m here.”
“Good, ‘cuz I could always handle more of you to love.” He picked up a package of golden hamburger buns, tossing them her way before smacking her rear playfully. “You know I’m all about the buns, hon.” He winked mischievously when Emma’s cheek flushed.
“Wow, a baked goods Sir-Mix-Alot reference … you really are pulling out the big puns!” Emma flashed him a wide grin.
“Ooohhhh, nice one!” Drake chuckled. “Hey, it may be corny, but I made you smile. So … mission accomplished.”
Emma shook her head with amusement, placing the hamburger buns back in the larger pile before turning to examine the trays of dinner rolls beside them. “What would Drake Walker circa two years ago say if you told him he’d be married and telling horrible jokes in a grocery store in New Jersey for Thanksgiving 2018?”
Drake shrugged again, stealing the cart from his wife and pushing it forward to turn down the next aisle. “I don’t know. Once you finally convinced the old Drake that it was really true, he would probably tell you that it sounded like future Drake … was really happy.” He glanced back over his shoulder at his wife trailing behind him, an affectionate smile tugging at the corners of his lips.
“You really are such a marshmallow, Drake.” Emma’s eyes sparkled as she grinned fondly at her husband, who paused in the middle of the aisle and bent down to pick up a bag off the lowest shelf.
“Well, now that you’re smiling again … “ he started as he stood back up, “I should tell you that this marshmallow of yours thinks that maybe you need to have an honest conversation with your mother.” He handed her a bag of jumbo puff marshmallows, hoping the fluffy sweet treat would help soften the blow of his statement. He cocked his head to the side as he studied her grimace, taking the bag marshmallow begrudgingly.
“Ugh, Drake …” she groaned, flipping the bag over in her hands and avoiding his stare. “Ugh, I know you’re right … I just don’t know how to make her listen.”
Drake reached his hand out to still her fidgeting and she finally looked back up to him. “I think the first thing you’ve got to do is believe it yourself. You’re not a teenager anymore, like you said … you’re a grown woman now. You have responsibilities, a husband … you’ve made a life for yourself. Talk to her like an adult and not like her kid.”
Emma blinked a few times while she processed Drake’s advice, a faint smile forming on her lips. “I hate it when you’re right.” She sighed deeply and shrugged her shoulders in defeat. “Fine, I’ll talk to her before we leave …”
“Em …” Drake chided, grasping her by the waist and tilting her chin up to look directly at him. “Please don’t make the rest of us sit through an extremely unpleasant Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow. I think you need to talk to her soon. Like, as in today …”
Emma growled in annoyance, rolling her eyes as she mulled over his advice. “But it wouldn’t be Thanksgiving without an awkward family fight.” She chuckled at herself, but when she met Drake’s firm stare and solemn expression, her laughter faded and she nodded in agreement. “Okay, I will. I will talk to her when we get home. But … I need you to promise me something first. Wait here!” She raised an eyebrow mischieviously before she ran down the aisle, around the corner and out of sight.
Drake gave her a funny look as she scurried away but did as he was told, leaning against the cart and flipping through his phone as he waited patiently for his wife to return. After a few moments, he heard the padding of footsteps behind him and turned to find Emma with her arms full of additional items. The bag of jumbo puff marshmallows he had gifted her, along with a box of graham crackers and a large sleeve of milk chocolate bars. S’more fixins. He started to make a sarcastic comment before his wife abruptly cut him off.
“Okay, I will promise to have a serious conversation with my mother when we get home, but only if you promise to make these with me after and let me vent about it. Deal?”
Drake grinned and nodded his head in agreement, bending down to press a sweet kiss to her lips while retrieving the groceries from her arms. “Deal, Mrs. Walker. I’m proud of you.”
“No, thank you Drake. Thank you for making me laugh … and for talking some reason into me. I’m so lucky to have you in my life.” She beamed up and him, a playful smirk teasing her lips. “And I love you a little s’more every day.”
Drake laughed, rubbing his hand across his face as she grinned proudly at him. “I guess I earned that, didn’t I? Alright, I promise … no more cheesy jokes!”
Emma scoffed, her mouth swiftly pursing into a tight pout. “Cheesy?!?! I thought that one was Gouda.” Her scowl broke into a wide smile, eyes dancing with amusement before she turned abruptly to walk towards the checkout counter. “Alright, let’s go.”
Drake watched his silly wife saunter down the aisle, deep laughter still rumbling in his chest. Even at a crowded grocery store in suburban New Jersey, every day with Emma was a fantastic adventure. He followed her towards the registers to help check her out.
He he … check her out. You’re so punny sometimes, Walker …he chuckled to himself.
END