Road Trip Torture

Author’s Note: Fluff is my favorite thing to write … this should come as no surprise to anyone on here!  So here is my submission for the @Choices-September-Challenge day 20 prompt ‘Fluff.’

I dedicate this fluffy fun masterpiece to my dear friend @enmchoices and any other parents out there that have to tolerate children’s music or shows on repeat.  You all are the true heroes.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Drake’s knuckles were white as he gripped the steering wheel tightly, as if squeezing it as hard as he could would somehow dull the pain he was experiencing.  His eyes looked straight forward to the surface of the Cordonian highway in front of him and his foot pressed down on the accelerator a tad more, willing them to arrive at their destination just a little bit sooner.  Only 20 more seconds, you can do this Drake.  He held his breath, waiting … waiting …

Finally his auditory senses received the much-desired respite he had been craving and were met with silence as the most obnoxious song in the world came to an end.  “Okay, Daddy’s turn to pick the song!”  He chimed in cheerfully, quickly turning the dials on the SUV’s radio to his favorite Texan country music station.  His ears rejoiced as the low, twangy notes of a down-home melody infiltrated the car.

“No, Daddy! No!!!!” Four-year-old Harper whined from the backseat.  Her little brother Jackson, two years her junior and taking everything his big sister did and said as gospel, immediately caught on to the plan. “Nah, Dada!” He echoed, despite the cheeky grin spread across his chubby face.

Drake peeked up into the rear view mirror and caught a glimpse of Harper’s big blue eyes (an almost-exact copy of Emma’s big blue eyes) and that pouty little frown that never ceases to pull his paternal heartstrings.  Can I really tolerate this song any more today?

He felt Emma’s hand on his forearm and glanced over to find her knowing smile and eyes that told him everything he needed to know.  Yes, this is the worst song in the world.  But yes, we’re going to listen to it again, Drake.

Drake groaned audibly, making a theatrical gesture of shrugging his shoulders and sticking out his bottom lip when he looked back over his shoulder to Harper.  “Come on Baby Girl, can Daddy have a turn for a while?  This song is getting really old, Baby …”. He felt a swat from Emma as he finished his last statement, peeking over to find her wide-eyed and giving him an exasperated look.

“I’m sorry Daddy, but it’s not really for me …” Little Harper began in a very grown-up tone.  “Jackson really wants to listen to this.  And how can you say no this little guy?” She nodded her head to the side toward her brother, who was beaming and looking out the window happily and completely unaware he was being made the scapegoat.

“You know she’s right, Drake.”  Emma agreed, fighting a chuckle in her throat.  “Jackson may lose it if you don’t play that song again.”  Drake rolled his eyes at his wife, who simply gave him a sweet smile before leaning forward to turn the radio back to the dreaded children’s song.

As the intro started echoing through the vehicle, Drake sighed in defeat and muttered his assent.  “Fine, fine … only thirty more minutes until we get to Uncle Bertrand and Aunt Savannah’s House.”  He snuck a sly glance to Emma, whispering to her under his breath.  “And I swear it on the holiest of whiskies, Emma … if seven year-olds are still into this song, I may have to get a hotel room this weekend to hide away from Bartie and our kids.”

Emma laughed, giving him a playful nudge in the shoulder.  “You’re doing good, Drake.  I’m sure we’ll be busy with plenty of other things this weekend to distract the kids from this song.”  She smiled broadly in understanding as the beginning lyrics echoed in the vehicle.

Baby shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo, Baby shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo …

Harper belted out the lyrics from her booster seat in the backseat, Jackson happily clapping inconsistently to the beat and bopping his head.

Baby shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo, Baby shark!
Drake exhaled a deep, exhausted breath as he slunk further into the driver’s seat. He heard Emma gradually start singing along to the words and shot her a pointed stare filled with shock and betrayal.

Mommy shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo, Mommy shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo…

She shrugged nonchalantly with a complacent grin, confessing out loud between lyrics.  “Hey, I like the mommy shark!”

Mommy shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo, Mommy shark!
“Daddy, it’s your part!  You have to sing now!”  Harper pleaded, clasping her hands together dramatically and batting her eyelashes.

Daddy shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo, Daddy shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo…

Drake closed his eyes for a moment to gather his wits, slowly opening them as he started to sing in a soft, grumbling voice.

Daddy shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo, Daddy shark!
“Louder, Daddy!  Louder!”

~~~~~

Emma slipped under the sheets and nestled up to Drake’s side as he shifted the book he was holding to the other hand and wrapped his arms around her shoulder.  “I think Bartie wore them out … they were exhausted.”

“I bet they were …” Drake rested the book on his chest to peer down at his wife.  “I think Bartie enjoys having other kids around.  It’s too bad that Bertrand and Savannah never had any other kids.”

Emma quirked an eyebrow at her husband, the corner of her mouth turning up suspiciously.  “Are you really suggesting that you want Bertrand to impregnate your sister again … because you do know how that happens, right?”

Drake grimaced at the thought.  “Ugh, no … maybe not.  I changed my mind, they can just borrow ours every so often if they feel the need.”  He leaned down and pressed a sweet kiss to Emma’s forehead, inhaling the scent of her clean hair and face cream.  “I love our kids, but I do especially love my time alone with you.”

Emma chuckled.  “Me too … the peace and quiet is nice every once in a while.”

Drake nodded, agreeing wholeheartedly.  “Yes, quiet … speaking of which, can we please invest in some kid’s headphones for car trips from now on???”

She chuckled, shaking her head ‘no’ against his chest.  “What and miss out on the family singing fun?!?!”  Drake poked her in the ribs playfully, causing her to wiggle and laugh further against his tickling.  “Okay, I give!  We can order some!”

“Thank God!”  Drake finally released her from his playful torture, leaning back over to set his book down on the nightstand and turn off the light.  He snuggled into the pillow and let Emma curl up closer to him.  “Good night, Em.”  She tilted her head to allow him to place a gentle kiss to her lips.

“Good night, my Grumpy Cowboy.”  She whispered fondly before nuzzling her face into his shoulder.  Her breathing gradually slowed as she relaxed, and before long she was asleep.

Drake lay there staring at the ceiling … his body was tired but his mind would not stop racing.  He willed it to count sheep or imagine a tranquil meadow, but no … his mind was captive to an internal torture he could not escape.

Daddy shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo, Daddy shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo…

END

~~~~~~~~~~

Baby Shark Song Link Warning, you will get it stuck in your head!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.