/ Istvan – FC Rob Evans
/ Both images borrowed from their Instagram
/ I own none of these images, all used with love and respect <3
/ Rings – enoirvado / Vegas view – Instagram sin1city / Quotes – all taken from Pinterest and none had credit for where they came from.
Viktoria paced up and down the hall. She was going to have to talk to him. Could she get up the nerve to do it? She’d already been putting it off for a couple of days. She felt sick, and nervous, and confused, and overwrought… She couldn’t sit down, she couldn’t sleep, or eat… ‘Enough!’ She needed to talk to him. Now. Sucking in a deep breath she knocked gingerly on the door to his office, poking her head around, a fake grin plastered across her face,
“Hey, you. Busy?”
He raised one finger, not looking up at her,
“My love, please give me just two minutes, I need to finish-”
She sighed – annoyed that he wasn’t closing the laptop instantly. Viktoria slipped in the door, closing it behind her. She waited, leaning against the door twirling a strand of hair around her finger for what seemed like an hour, but was probably only about 30 seconds before blowing out an exasperated breath
“Istvan, can you just stop typing please…? IST??”
She shifted impatiently on her feet, biting her bottom lip. He lifted his head, brow furrowed, concerned at her tone,
“Are you ok?”
Wringing her hands, she took a deep breath, her mouth bone-dry. And for some reason she was blushing. Her nose screwed up as she glanced over at him, struggling to maintain eye contact,
“No. Yes? I don’t know… I’m… Uh, well, I’m… Late? I think?”
It took him only a split-second to cross the room, his hands cupping her pretty face, his clear blue eyes wide with anticipation. He gently pulled her towards him, kissing her forehead softly. She’d finally stopped fidgeting, but God, she was shaking?
He couldn’t believe they were standing here having a conversation about possibly expecting a baby, everything that had led them to this moment, all the heartache to get here… It was a few months ago that Vik had agreed to stop her contraceptive pill, and Istvan had just assumed she’d fall pregnant almost immediately, maybe because he wanted that so desperately… But when it didn’t happen straight away, he felt so disheartened. They’d never got so far as having to do a test before, could this be it? ‘The fact that Vik’s standing here telling you, must mean she thinks that she really could be pregnant, right?’ his mind raced, thinking about their baby; being a family at last. He struggled to level his voice, feeling like he had to contain the excitement that was threatening to burst out from inside of him, just until he knew for sure…
“And you didn’t do a test yet?”
She shook her head rapidly, not looking at him,
“I thought you’d want to be there when I did it.”
He tipped her chin up,
“Look at me, my beautiful girl. We’ll do it together. Baby it’s ok, there’s nothing to be afraid of. I’m right here.”
She nodded, as he pressed himself against her, pulling her to his strong chest. Vik wrapped her arms around him tightly, her heart still banging inside of her chest… She had a good idea of what the test was going to say, she hadn’t felt quite right for a couple of weeks and they had been ‘trying’. A lot.
—
Istvan was sat on the floor directly outside their en-suite bathroom door as Viktoria came out holding the little stick. He scrambled to his feet, eyebrows raised. She laughed nervously,
“You need to give it a couple of minutes. One line for negative, and two…”
Istvan whispered the end of her sentence,
“Means a baby.”
The corners of his eyes crinkled as a smile washed over his face, he looked so full of hope and anticipation as he reached out and stroked her face with his thumb. Vik searched his eyes with hers, whispering,
“Istvan, I love you, you know. So much.”
He placed a gentle kiss on her lips, praying for two little lines, for a baby, for that family of his own he’d always longed for… The timer on Viktoria’s watch started to buzz, jolting them apart, drawing them into the moment of truth.
Istvan’s hands were over his mouth as she turned the stick over, both stared at it for several moments without making a move. Both watching the two little pink lines, as clear as day.
Viktoria’s mouth opened and closed a couple of times, swallowing hard. All she could hear was the sound of her own heartbeat pounding inside her ears, the scream of the blood pumping through her veins.
She was pregnant.
Istvan broke the deafening silence, flinging his arms around her snapping her back to life. He picked her up and spun her around and around, lifting her high and bringing her slowly down into the most gentle, emotion-fuelled kiss, tears glittering in those bright eyes so filled with love,
“Oh my God Viktoria! We made a baby!”
He laughed out loud, the smile stretching across his whole face,
“We’re having a baby Vik! Oh my beautiful girl, you’ve made me the happiest man alive! I love you so, so much.”
Viktoria squeaked and giggled as he spun her, eyes popping in awe at just how excited he was. She’d never seen him so happy, not when she’d accepted his proposal, not on their wedding day – not ever. She knew he wanted this but she never expected him to be so elated! As he laughed and shook his head almost in disbelief, his voice rasped with affection, so soft and low,
“I’m going to be a daddy… A daddy… Ohhh Vik, you don’t know this means to me… Thank you.”
He kissed her lips again, his cheeks glowing with a rosy flush, eyes shut, resting his forehead against hers. As they parted, he smiled,
“Vik, are you happy?”
Seeing Istvan so overcome with joy, that alone was enough to make her smile and nod her head, her eyes were wet. How could she crush his happiness? She couldn’t ruin the moment, one he’d clearly wanted for a lifetime: Istvan deserved to enjoy this occasion. He was a wonderful man who had witnessed way too much sadness throughout his life. He was under so much pressure and so many things had been dictated to him through the years… Istvan deserved the world. Viktoria couldn’t do anything to tarnish this beautiful memory for him; it should be perfect and his to treasure forever. She loved him more than she’d ever thought was possible and she needed to protect him.
No.
She would stay quiet. It would only hurt him if she was honest and told him that the only thing she felt right now was fear.
—
Istvan beamed at her; this was everything he’d ever desired. Tears of complete bliss shining in his eyes, as he looked at his beautiful little wife: pregnant. He had never dared to dream he could feel like this.
Istvan’s mind wandered for a few moments as he pulled Viktoria into yet another tender embrace: his mother would have adored this. She would have been so delighted for her son and little daughter-in-law. She would have been a fantastic grandma. He felt a lump form in his throat: neither of his parents had lived long enough to meet his child… And Viktoria’s mom wasn’t alive either… It would be up to them to make sure their child had enough love to compensate for all the people who would be missing from it’s life… He swore he would love this child until his dying day: his own son or daughter…
He cleared his throat as he pulled back from Viktoria, his voice was quieter, more serious than before. He bit his lip as he looked at her. He wanted more than anything to connect with that little heartbeat hidden away inside of her,
“Please Vik, can… Can I..?”
His hand hovered above her stomach. He stared down, there was no remote hint of a baby bump yet. God he couldn’t wait for that to show: she would look so beautiful. His breath hitched as he imagined wrapping his arms protectively around her, months from now; her glowing, belly swollen, maybe being able to feel the baby kick… Pregnancy would be an amazing look on Viktoria… She had nodded her approval and whispered,
“You don’t have to ask for permission.”
As he gently rested his palm against her warm stomach it felt like his heart would burst wide open. He felt truly blessed as he stood there holding his beautiful wife and unborn child. He never wanted this exquisite moment to end.
—
She lay beside him in bed that night staring at the ceiling, Istvan was peacefully asleep, curled beside her, his hand shielding her still-flat stomach and his unborn child growing within.
‘Pregnant.’ It still sounded so alien to her when she thought of it in context to herself. There was a tiny little baby inside of her – hers and Istvan’s. That was an amazing, priceless, natural thing – so shouldn’t she be ecstatic? Because right now she just felt exhausted and tearful – maybe it was all the pregnancy hormones? That was a thing, right?
Viktoria had made her decision to come back to Cordonia because she couldn’t bear to face her life without him, and she knew when she made that choice, that this day would inevitably come. She’d committed to doing this for him, to giving Istvan a child because she loved him so much – there was certainly no point in crying about it now because she’d gotten into this with her eyes wide open. They’d tried for months, she’d had time to get used to the idea. But now it was really happening. It was real and she was just so damn scared.
Despite all the fears and reservations Vik’d had about trying for a baby, she’d thought that when she saw a positive test, when she actually had that baby growing inside of her, she wouldn’t feel so afraid… She thought maybe it would all just melt away into a maternal, loving feeling… But if anything, she was even more panicked. She shook her head, berating herself, ‘What in God’s name is wrong with me? It’s not like I’m some poor little teenager who got caught out, left pregnant with no partner to support me? Look around you. Look at him… You’re the luckiest woman alive Viktoria, get a grip of yourself!’
Viktoria took some deep, slow breaths and tried to focus her mind on how happy Ist had been when they’d read the test result together, as lost as she was inside her own head right now, she didn’t think she’d ever forget the expression on his face. He was so filled with happiness it was shining out of him, and she felt proud that she was able to give him that. If there was one thing in the world that Viktoria was sure about, it was how much she loved Istvan and how she’d do anything for him.
Istvan had fussed around Vik all afternoon as though she was the most precious woman in the world. He’d showered her in hugs and kisses, he’d stroked her hair as he stared into her eyes and told her he loved her, over and over again. He made her blush; he made her feel so special. In Viktoria’s memory she replayed the sweet, respectful way Ist had asked her if he could touch her stomach… He touched her every day a hundred times over, it amazed her that he felt he had to ask: she wondered why would he think he wasn’t able or allowed to now? Maybe he could sense how fragile she felt, even though she didn’t have the heart or courage to own up and say the words. Her husband’s sincerity and his gentleness moved her to tears. The pride-filled look on his face as his large hand tentatively settled low on her stomach, his thumb gently stroking over where he supposed the baby must be… Her heart had skipped a beat as Viktoria realised that he was already a wonderful father to the baby, within minutes of finding out. She would be eternally grateful for Istvan.
—
Viktoria took a few more deep cleansing breaths and closed her eyes, imagining her favourite place, remembering the sounds of the sea lapping against the sand as they relaxed on their honeymoon. She could feel her pulse starting to slow a little. ‘Breathe in and out, nice and slow’, she repeated to herself. How she prayed for sleep to come as she tried to clear her mind. She wanted to shut out all the thoughts of how overwhelmed she felt; how exposed and vulnerable. She placed her hand over Istvan’s laying on top of her stomach, as she softly whispered an apology to her darling husband and the baby: she felt like she was failing them both already.
—
TBC – VP 💖
